Crying lots

I cried alot today, it was not the cry of relief or the cry of thanking myself, it was a cry of what am i going to do, am i going to sit in turmoil or get this done through forgiveness and self honesty in every moment. i`m still not sure exactly if i was crying because i felt sorry for myself,,, i did feel sorry for myself, i cried to because of the guilt i feel of doing nothing when i should have stood up in those moments and said what needed to be said. I cried because of the distance i have put between myself and those that i enjoy. It has not solved the ultimate problem, but i experience myself as softer and more willing to accept. The crying has assisted me in not being so hard on myself and not so judgemental, i am more aware of myself because i am accepting more of myself.